Reasons Why Having Big Boobs SUCKS

Monday, 8 February 2016

Hello my lovelies! This last weekend I was shopping in Doncaster, when I came across a Wonderbra store. Being a rather busty lady myself, having to alternate between the two bras that actually do fit me, I decided it was time to treat myself to some basic over-the-shoulder boulder-holders.

After leaping around excitedly for a good twenty minutes and almost knocking myself out, caused by finding bras that don't cause an avalanche of boob spillage, I decided to compile this list of reasons why having big boobs SUCKS.

Showing off the fab bra I got this weekend

You are doomed to a life of beige.

Pretty patterns? Forget it. When you think of delicate wisps of lingerie, the last colour you think of is the horror that is beige. Significantly more gran than glam, for some reason most department stores seem to associate a large bust with being seventy years old. Lead me to the floral prints thank you, and what do you mean they only stock up to a B?

Boob sweat.

Ah, the true delight that is boob sweat. Under boob, side boob, the cleavage chasm, you name it. Woe betide wearing a tight t-shirt on the days you have to run for the bus, it just ain't happening honey. The best bit is having to explain that the attractive damp patch on the front of your top isn't actually spilt juice, but the evidence that your own breasts hate you.

Strapless dresses become instantly ruined.

There's nothing worse than having a truly gorgeous strapless dress ruined by two hideous, most likely beige, straps thrown over your shoulders. Nothing. Not even how the dress is too tight at the front yet still slips down, revealing acres of flesh, because a good strapless bra in a 30FF is £54. Not even that is worse than the beige straps of shame.

And don't even think about anything backless.

Don't even try it, there isn't a single contraption on earth capable of keeping your girlies nicely hoisted whilst simultaneously hiding the band of the bra. That's some kind of gravity-defying NASA stuff right there.

Crumbs in the cleavage abyss.

We've all been there. You're trying to enjoy your morning peanut butter on toast when suddenly half of it is lost to the chasm below, causing you to find crumbs nestled there for the next six hours, even after a shower. On the plus side you always have a tasty snack for later *retch*.


It actually fits, praise the baby Jesus

Paying £30 for a basic black bra...

...while your friends buy theirs for £4 from Primark. Those bitches. They will never know the horror of trying to squeeze yourself into a bra two sizes too small whilst the assistant has their knee in your back trying to hook you into the evil contraption.

Nobody understands sister-sizes.

Yes, a 36B is bigger than a 32C. It's all about ratios, people! The smaller the band size, the larger the cup size in the case of us rather busty ladies. When I tell people I'm a 30G, they look at me as if I'm lying. WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THIS HEINOUS CURSE? Bitch I will take my shirt off and thrust them in your face, don't try me.

Dirty looks from other girls.

Since I was thirteen I have always received filthy looks from other girls in the changing rooms, as if it was my own fault that these things had sprouted from my chest. Since getting older I realised they were purely out of jealousy, but at the time I was insanely self-concious and wore a baggy P.E. jumper in all weathers.

Going upstairs becomes intense cardio.

I'm not sure what's worse, the painful jiggling of running upstairs, or the awkward boob-grab you have to use to prevent said jiggling. Either way, you end up hot and breathless in a heap at the top of the stairs.

Teenage boys.

All busty ladies know that teenage boys are vermin. They will point, stare, nudge each other and fall off their push bikes whilst craning their necks to have a good look at your plentiful lady lumps. Ignore them. They know not what vermin they are.

My fellow busty ladies, what are the daily struggles you face?
Is there anything I've forgotten?
Any bra-inspired horror stories?
24 comments on "Reasons Why Having Big Boobs SUCKS"
  1. Lol I'm with you here. My band size has increased rapidly. Finding a 40DD in primarni just ain't easy. So if I'm a 40DD what other size am I? X

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    1. Going down a band size means going up a cup letter, in the UK anyway! So a 40DD would also be a 38E, 36F, 34FF/G (or the other way would be a 42D, 44C etc.)

      Believe me, I loathe and despite Primark for bra shopping! Xx

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  2. Figleaves.com has a great selection on a wide range of bras and swimsuits! If you are in England you are super lucky because they are based there and shopping will be low and quick! One of my fellow busty friends introduced me a couple years ago and it is awesome.

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    1. I shall check it out ASAP! Thanks for the heads up, is busty ladies need to stick together! Xx

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  3. Great post Alice, I am a big busted lady and have also had the curse of huge boobs since my teens! There is still no where near enough choice out there for us, agree with@modernbelle though that figleaves is quite good as is Bravissimo (but warning- they r no agent provocateur or Victoria's Secret! ) X good luck. X

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    1. Yes! The curse of the DD's when everyone else is barely out of training bras!
      I wish Victoria's Secret catered for us busty ladies :( xx

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  4. I can relate 100% to all of these! Not so long ago I went up to a G cup so the only place I bother shopping for bras is Bravissimo because I know they go up to that size. I'll definitely check out Figleaves.com though. Do you mind me asking where you get measured?

    sophiesnotebook.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I got measured at M&Co, when they told me I was a 36B I laughed in her face! I've been measuring myself ever since, just going up cup sizes and down band sizes whenever needed. I was measured properly on Saturday at a Wonderbra store, the lady told me I was a 30FF/G, exactly what is measured myself at! Xx

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  5. All of these are so true it's insane! My boobs eat more than I do!

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  6. Amen to all of this! Preach it x

    Jordan @ Darling Jordan

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  7. Haha totally relate to these! Popcorn getting lost in the bra happens quite regularly haha x

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    1. I'll have been out of the cinema an hour and still manage to find pieces! oops! xx

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  8. The prices annoy me so much! The cheapest i've paid for a bra that fit is £20 whereas my mates have gotten some for £1?! The difference is HUGE

    lovely post,
    Daizy from| www.ZyaandDaizy.wordpress.com

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  9. Awww babe I am the complete opposite !! I am very small chested!! But this post had me in stitches! Loved it so much !!
    Saira
    www.throughtheglitterglass.wordpress.com
    Xx

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  10. Yesss the struggle is real lol. I hate having to pay so much for my bras, I didn't ask my boobs to grow this big. Also it's not just teenage boys but also grown men who are old enough to be your dad who stare at your chest. I hate having to run up and down the stairs; running down the stairs, I have to hold the pesky blobs of fat on my chest otherwise they just jump up and down and even when you're walking they move up and down - whyyyyy xx

    http://www.perks0fbeingnazia.blogspot.co.uk

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  11. Both jealous and content! I remember trying to hoist my bestie into strange contraptions before nights out!

    She found this great yoke with corseted sides for support especially under dresses with flimsy straps!

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  12. I can 100% relate to these! Paying over the odds for a "basic" looking bra is such a killer too. My underwire has started popping out too - SO flipping annoying!

    hannatalks

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  13. Love this post!

    Finding a Bikini that fits when you have a small frame but big boobs is difficult! Like you can say goodbye to buying a set, and again they are ridiculously priced!

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  14. I feel your pain! This post is so funny, I just started buying my bras from Marks and Spencer and I feel like a 35 year old, not a 20 year old! But hey, better a plain bra than a crap bra! x

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  15. LMFAO!! Oh geeze I feel you. I'm a 32F and for a while my BF didn't believe me, until we went into a VS and I tried on a 36 C (because a lot of times, they don't even know how to measure correctly) and showed him how it just DID NOT FIT. However, I don't have a single beige bra - yes, I pay the $62+ for the fancy VS bras (I refuse to wear something my 40 yo mother wears) BUT I definitely wish I could wear backless dresses. . . Or other cute trends that I simply cannot pull off because I've got a chest. Hell, yesterday I put on a button-down for a professional setting, and I was SO FRUSTRATED about the side-gap it left. If only I could go without wearing 3 layers of clothes when I need to wear a button-down. "little" sisters just don't understand D':

    Cherish

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  16. Yes Figleaves is great! And if you shop at Tesco you can save up your points and buy stuff with them! Bravissimo are quite good as well

    Completley agree, had to pay £50 for a black swimming costume and I think I heard my heart shatter! Why do people wish for this? :(

    www.melberryy.com

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  17. I know ALL about big boob struggles. I always had a large chest and at my biggest was a 40H until I got my breast reduction surgery. I am now a 40D and am much happier. I had constant back and neck pain, I couldn't breathe properly which was a really big issue, and could hardly ever find clothes or bras that would fit properly.

    Tops would either be fine in the bust and baggy everywhere else, or the opposite. I am so with you about guys starting! I always had creepy boys/men staring at my chest all my life and it was honestly so uncomfortable. Really loved this post, it gave me a laugh and I feel you girl!

    Hilary | The Beauty Collective

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Every single comment means so much to me, thanks for making me smile! :)

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