Why I Deleted My Instagram

Over the last few months I've fallen into the mindset of finding my Instagram a burden, and something that I just can't be bothered to keep up with. This is so far from the way I felt when I first started blogging and would post to Instagram three, maybe even four times a day.

It doesn't help that I actually started my Instagram account a very, very long time ago, much longer than I've been blogging, right back in secondary school. I'm a completely different person now as to who I was then. My interest in the accounts I follow has changed, and I've just grown up a lot on the whole, especially when you take into account that I was 13 when I started it, and I'm almost 21 now (fun fact, Instagram actually first launched on my 13th birthday!)

This didn't use to bother me so much as when I came across an account I'd followed years ago, I'd just block or unfollow it. Every so often I'd decide I needed a change, and delete all of my photos (this was before the 'archive' feature was even a thing - I've lost so many amazing photos over the years) and change my @ in order to just start my feed over again.

But recently it was just bugging me more than normal. I discussed in my Confessions Of An Instagram 'Cheat' post how when I was in school I would use apps where you could 'earn' likes and followers in order to look more popular amongst the girls in my class. I spent absolutely ages this time last year going through all of my followers and trying to remove the ones that looked fake, but last month I just decided that enough was enough and I may as well start from scratch.

So here I am, trying my absolute hardest to grow my new Instagram account, whilst slowly realising that it's a lot harder thanks it used to be (thanks Instagram, you dicks) and mourning the loss of my 3,000 followers.

But actually, I'm really enjoying it. Somehow I'm posting every day at the moment (a first for me), I've found loads of new, relateable accounts to follow, and slowly but surely my followers are creeping up again. Dreamy.

Pop your Instagram handle in the comments, and I'll be sure to shoot you a follow.

In the meantime, I'm over at @DaintyAlice for all things, pink, girly and gossipy.

Ditching The 'Girl Boss' Mentality

The term 'girl boss' is everywhere. Thanks to Sophia Amoruso's 2014 semi-autobiographical bestseller #Girlboss, it's popping up in Instagram captions on a daily basis and is printed on huge assortment of mugs, notebooks and trinkets - Many of which I own.

But what does it mean? According to Urban Dictionary, the definition of a 'girl boss' is a woman in control, taking charge of her own circumstances in work & life. A go-getting, ass-kicking, determined chick who lets nothing stand in her way. A girl boss works really, really hard all the time and then finally achieves everything she wants in life as a reward.

So why am I turning my back on all that?

In short, striving to be a girl boss is draining. In order to feel engaged, updated and relevant at all times, multi-tasking has become like a second nature to me. I can't 'just' watch a film, as I'm also scrolling through Instagram, making blog post notes, and texting my boyfriend all at the same time. My mum laughed at me the other night when I was sat on the sofa knitting, watching TV, texting and eating noodles. She said she doesn't know how I do it.

I do, and the answer is by being really damn tired, all the time, and I'm sure a lot of other bloggers can relate to this.

I've been totally burning myself out recently. Working a full-time job (which mentally drains me), going to college in the evenings, making sure every weekend is jam-packed with things to do, updating instagram every day, planning blog posts that I haven't given myself time to write. Trying to be a girl boss 100% of the time, It's exhausting and I'm done with it.

Don't get me wrong, I find the motivational quotes and success stories really inspirational, but on the whole I think the mentality of 'work hard 24/7 in order to eventually achieve' is incredibly damaging, especially in a world where every day we are also being told to appreciate 'self care'.

In my mind, 'girl boss' and 'self care' just do not go together. One is all about working hard, side-hustles (I hate that phrase) and being constantly on the go until you burn yourself out, whilst the other is all about slowing down, looking after your well-being and making sure you're doing ok. So which is it?

The other night I turned off my phone and read a few chapters of a book, and it felt so good. There was no temptation of scrolling, checking notifications or refreshing my feed. It hit me that it just isn't necessary to be on the go all the time, that sometimes I really can just 'switch off' from the hustle that is blogging, and just do 'nothing' for a while.

I'm now allowing myself two evenings every week to just watch TV with my mum and switch off from everything else. I'm starting to feel a lot better already after only a few weeks, especially after having finished college too. I've started leaving my phone at home or in the car when I go out places with my boyfriend, so it can just be me and him, with no pressure to 'just tweet this' or 'instagram that.'

I'm going to be taking things at a slower pace from now on. It's great to have plans and goals and ambitions, but they're not worth the stress of focusing on them 24/7. I'll still be tagging my posts #girlboss, but no longer identifying with that kind of lifestyle.

Ex-girl boss, over and out.