Dainty Alice

A pretty little LUSH, Beauty & Lifestyle blog.

A Bittersweet 'Goodbye'

I've not really been around here much, have I?

Not for a long while really, and putting off writing this post was only delaying the inevitable. What's the point in a 'goodbye' post when I've been gone for such a long time anyway? But I believe in tying up loose ends and putting things down in writing, rather than just ghosting. After almost five years online, I owe it to myself and this blog to be honest with my intentions.

Let me explain; 

I first started this blog so many years ago because I was lonely and very sad. I'd just been dumped by my boyfriend at the time, and I was struggling badly with depression and low self-esteem. I didn't have any real friends and had been cast out of the 'in' clique at school as a response to the break up. So I started a blog, which I named 'Confessions Of A Teenage Shopaholic', a nod to my favourite book and carefree spending habits. It then eventually morphed into 'Dainty Alice' as I learned more about branding, web design and photography, portraying myself as grown-up, shy and delicate, with a love for all things pink and pretty. The way I wanted to be seen, the way I wanted to be, as opposed to a tall, loud-mouthed young girl from a small East Midlands town.

My blog became a glorious outlet, where I would write about my shopping sprees and review hair, makeup and skincare goodies to my heart's content. I discovered Twitter and the ways of getting my blog into the public eye, whilst being re-tweeted by the brands I started to work with. I spent hours scheduling tweets, writing posts, taking and editing photos, all as a wonderful, colourful distraction from the greyness inside my own mind. It felt wonderful. I felt important. My social followings grew rapidly and vastly as I played follow-for-follow games and took part in comment swaps and blogger chats night after night.

It often made me feel bad too. When a post didn't get as many views and comments as I hoped for, I would stay up late 'promoting' it across Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I tried to write a new post every day, waking up at silly times to make sure I had it finished in time for my own deadlines and beating myself up when I didn't. All this whilst preparing for A Levels and figuring out what I wanted to do when I left school put a huge amount of pressure on me, but I thrived off the buzz of recognition and approval I was getting. It made me happy, in a time where nothing else really did.

But like all good things, it eventually came to an end. I started a full time job which was a big jump from my lazy half-days at sixth form. At first it was wonderful, having a proper income to spend on bigger and better sprees, but after a few months of frantically typing posts in my lunch break, the shine was wearing off. I was too tired for promotion in the evenings, and I'd missed the daylight hours for taking photos by the time I finished work. It had also started to hit home just how much money I was spending on beauty products - £100 hauls every month on Too Faced and Benefit, despite the fact that I was no longer wearing makeup on a daily basis. My palettes and products ended up going unused for weeks after they were initially bought and reviewed.

Eventually, I just let myself slow down. A few posts popped up each month, moving away from makeup and more towards my current niche of LUSH products. After a year, I cancelled my 'Dainty Alice' domain name and set up a LUSH Instagram account instead, where I remain posting photos most days, and this blog has been left to gather dust in its wake.

The happy-sad, bittersweet fact of the matter is that I don't need it anymore. I don't need to blog to be happy. I am finally starting to become truly content with my life and the way it's heading. I'm starting to like myself a little bit more each day. I like the colour of my eyes and how long my hair is getting. I like wearing pastel coloured clothes that fit me perfectly, despite being three or four sizes larger than they were a few years ago. I have a wonderful fiance, who I much prefer spending my evenings and weekends with, compared to holing myself up in my bedroom writing about lipstick only a few short years ago.

This isn't goodbye, not really. It's a 'bye for now'. An 'until we meet again'. But it is an official admittance that I no longer have the time or commitment required for running a 'proper' blog. Hopefully in a few months I'll be able to dust it off and pick back up where I left off. Maybe with another new name, another identity. But for now, I'll be content with posting on Instagram and saving my spare time for pursuits that mean a lot more to me than just 'likes'.

Au revoir, Wonderlush, and until we meet again, my dear friend.

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