Dainty Alice


A pretty little beauty and lifestyle blog.

Ditching The 'Girl Boss' Mentality


The term 'girl boss' is everywhere. Thanks to Sophia Amoruso's 2014 semi-autobiographical bestseller #Girlboss, it's popping up in Instagram captions on a daily basis and is printed on huge assortment of mugs, notebooks and trinkets - Many of which I own.

But what does it mean? According to Urban Dictionary, the definition of a 'girl boss' is a woman in control, taking charge of her own circumstances in work & life. A go-getting, ass-kicking, determined chick who lets nothing stand in her way. A girl boss works really, really hard all the time and then finally achieves everything she wants in life as a reward.

So why am I turning my back on all that?

In short, striving to be a girl boss is draining. In order to feel engaged, updated and relevant at all times, multi-tasking has become like a second nature to me. I can't 'just' watch a film, as I'm also scrolling through Instagram, making blog post notes, and texting my boyfriend all at the same time. My mum laughed at me the other night when I was sat on the sofa knitting, watching TV, texting and eating noodles. She said she doesn't know how I do it.

I do, and the answer is by being really damn tired, all the time, and I'm sure a lot of other bloggers can relate to this.

I've been totally burning myself out recently. Working a full-time job (which mentally drains me), going to college in the evenings, making sure every weekend is jam-packed with things to do, updating instagram every day, planning blog posts that I haven't given myself time to write. Trying to be a girl boss 100% of the time, It's exhausting and I'm done with it.

Don't get me wrong, I find the motivational quotes and success stories really inspirational, but on the whole I think the mentality of 'work hard 24/7 in order to eventually achieve' is incredibly damaging, especially in a world where every day we are also being told to appreciate 'self care'.

In my mind, 'girl boss' and 'self care' just do not go together. One is all about working hard, side-hustles (I hate that phrase) and being constantly on the go until you burn yourself out, whilst the other is all about slowing down, looking after your well-being and making sure you're doing ok. So which is it?

The other night I turned off my phone and read a few chapters of a book, and it felt so good. There was no temptation of scrolling, checking notifications or refreshing my feed. It hit me that it just isn't necessary to be on the go all the time, that sometimes I really can just 'switch off' from the hustle that is blogging, and just do 'nothing' for a while.

I'm now allowing myself two evenings every week to just watch TV with my mum and switch off from everything else. I'm starting to feel a lot better already after only a few weeks, especially after having finished college too. I've started leaving my phone at home or in the car when I go out places with my boyfriend, so it can just be me and him, with no pressure to 'just tweet this' or 'instagram that.'

I'm going to be taking things at a slower pace from now on. It's great to have plans and goals and ambitions, but they're not worth the stress of focusing on them 24/7. I'll still be tagging my posts #girlboss, but no longer identifying with that kind of lifestyle.

Ex-girl boss, over and out.

10 comments

  1. I’m loving this post! I hate how easy it is to feel so guilty about not doing working hard 24/7. Then thinking back ‘oh if I did that back then I could have been able to do this’ or ‘things might have been better’. Especially when you see all these motivational posts etc that are everywhere. It’s so important just to take a breather for a while (like just going out in the sun for a bit without your phone etc)! I completely agree with these views and you should just do what’s best for you! :)

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  2. Alongside the mentality of #GirlBoss, I think we also need to ditch the idea that we need to be busy all the time - it’s good to have some down time, and we don’t need to be doing something all the time.. ����‍♀️

    Andi | www.andthenzen.co.uk ✨

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  3. love this! "Girl Boss" is such a great way to be and stay motivated and to make us all feel good about what we are doing but like you said, it can easily become too much and we need to have a break. As I am reading this, I am currently taking part in a comment thread, in the middle of writing an essay, waiting for my dinner and trying to book a holiday so i think i need to take your advice! great post lovely xx
    https://sharnahsblog.wordpress.com/

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  4. Good for you. It is such a hype that the busier you are, the more people will admire that. But nobody thinks about the side effects such as burn outs. I had a serious one two years ago which took me more than a year to recover from.
    It's so important to have that offline time and not to worry about anything else. You are the priority! Self care is the priority.
    Blogging should be that fun side activity that you enjoy. Not one that drains you.
    I applaud you for posting this. Well written!
    Love,
    Rose - www.rainbowsdreamcloud.com

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  5. I love being super busy with lots to do and tick off the list, it's always made me feel like I'm accomplishing but as you say, it is SO tiring to do it 24/7 and when I'm not doing something productive I feel dreadful for it but it's so important to just switch off and look after yourself. This is a great post, keep up the good work! xxx

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  6. I feel your pain of juggling so many different projects and also trying to look after your own mental and physical state is tiring work and very draining. We're told hard work pays off, but when it's affecting your mental and physical health is it worth it? Brilliantly written post about a topic that's not discussed enough.

    Emma x
    emmarollason.com

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  7. YES GIRL, you do obviously what is best for you! I’m currently almost returned back to work, a mum, a blogger & I’m reading for the entrance exam for school and feels like I haven’t got enough hours in a day. Thankfully this will be over next Tuesday so I can take a proper breathe :-D

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  8. I can completely relate to this post having burnt myself out a few months back. I have managed to get into a much better routine now and ensure I have evenings that are dedicated to doing nothing apart from a spot of TV or a few chapters of my book.
    Great post thanks for sharing 😊

    Melanie | www.frasersfunhouse.com

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  9. I think we should all figure out a way to make time for us. It's just too hard to be constantly on the ball.

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  10. I've been feeling the same, the whole leaving my phone somewhere so I can't keep checking it like an obsessed junkie. And it's honestly been so refreshing! My phone was closed to losing full battery on Saturday whilst I was out with my mum so I turned my mobile data off and enjoyed the afternoon with her. It was bliss! Definitely something I will do more often. Tbh though, I've never liked the term "girlboss" why can't we just be bossing life in general? But that's a different discussion haha

    Lauren :) x
    My Lavender Tinted World

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Every single comment means so much to me, thanks for making me smile! :)