Reasons Why Having Blonde Hair SUCKS

Friday, 8 April 2016
Reasons why having blonde hair SUCKS
The face of someone who is sick of blonde jokes... 
So I've been blonde literally all of my life. I was born blonde, went through a random ginger phase when I was 12, and have been blonde ever since. The ends of my hair have been every colour under the sun, but I still class myself as predominately blonde, which can often be a little bit of a pain, as my fellow blondies will know.

Basically, welcome to the fifth instalment of my hugely-popular SUCKS Series, which features a list of reasons why having blonde hair totally SUCKS. Prepare yourself for lashings of sarcasm.

You have been warned...
Reasons why having blonde hair SUCKSEveryone assumes you're dumb AF.

Don't even get me started on this one. Obviously, because I'm blonde I'm totally dumb. NAH BITCH. Don't even try to call me thick just because I'm blonde, or I'll start chucking my GCSE and A Level certificates at you. FEEL THE FORCE OF MY EPIC GRADES!


Nothing ruins glamorously styled blonde hair like frizzy, dry split ends. I understand that bleach is primarily toilet cleaner, but I don't get why it's so damaging to hair? But maybe that's just because I'm a dumb blonde (LOL.)

Lazy hair washing is not tolerated.

It's sucks so hard that blonde hair goes almost a gazillion shades darker after a day, but dark hair always looks the same. I didn't wash my hair for like a week and people were like "Omg, did you dye your hair darker?!" NAH I'm just lazy as hell, deal with it. 


Like seriously, can you not? I'm trying to keep up the reputation of being a natural platinum blonde, I don't need roots barging in to mess up my life. The choice between having healthy, root-infested hair or bathing yourself in bleach every month is a hard one to make, choose wisely.

Mascara tragedies.

It is literally the worst thing in the world when you accidentally swipe your mascara brush against your hair. There is nothing worse. Except maybe the realisation that it won't come out and you will have one black strand in your hair all day. That is worse.

The curse of the silver shampoo.

So I'm pretty sure every blondie out there has used or at least heard of silver shampoo, the 'miracle stuff' that neautralises yellow and brassy tones yada yada yada... What they didn't tell you is that if you leave it on too long it can actually tint your hair purple. Yeah, true story. Beware.

It costs some serious coin.

Being blonde is well expensive. Having your hair coloured professionally costs an absolute fortune, and don't forget about the price of touch-ups every four to six weeks along with the aforementioned blonde shampoo and conditioner. Thank goodness I always box-dye mine in the bathroom (thanks Mum.)

Summer Lovin' Buggin'

You know what I hate? Those teeny-tiny little black beetles that come from nowhere every summer and seem to be fuelled by hatred and rage. Why oh why must these devil-bugs be so attracted to blonde hair? You heard me bugs, Buzz off!

Blonde jokes, blonde jokes everywhere.

This wouldn't be an accurate list if it din't contain my hatred of blonde jokes. Seriously, why do guys think it's ok to make them? Example:

Q: How can you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

OR you could just show her your TINY PENIS and she'll be LAUGHING THE REST OF HER LIFE, LOL.

How do my fellow blondies feel about being blonde?
Is there anything you can relate to?
Anything I've missed?
5 comments on "Reasons Why Having Blonde Hair SUCKS"
  1. This made me laugh so hard. I'm a natural brunette and wouldn't change it for the world because let's be real, brunettes are the shit. Also, I love my hair as it is and don't feel the need to dye it in its entirety. Having said that, this list is so amusing yet true. If you ever want to come to the brunette team, we're pretty open! ;)

    S .x

  2. I've dye my hair blond for a few years now and I hate how everyone things blonde are dumb. I also know how you feel about the constant coloring and split ends it is so very annoying. Great post all of these thing are a 100% true.

    Jordan |

  3. omg so funny. Well you made me thank god that I am a brunette, but I really think blonds are so beautiful.
    How about we follow each other on bloglovin'? Follow me and I'll follow you back.

  4. The SUCKS series is the best thing since ever! Love all of them so much, but this one is my fav. I had blonde hair until literally one day i woke up in high school and it was dark brown. True story! Growing up I loved telling blonde jokes because I was blonde and so thought it was okay haha.


  5. The mascara thing . . . yes! Happens to me all the bloody time.


Every single comment means so much to me, thanks for making me smile! :)