Nah, he's actually fine, but I had to use some sort of clickbait to get you to read this post, considering ALL OF YOU BITCHES ON TWITTER* voted that you didn't want a post about Colin.
Well SUCKS TO BE YOU because Colin is here with a vengeance. Though tbh, I did nearly kill him within an hour of getting him home.
If you have been active on Twitter this past weekend, you will have noticed that I have acquired a pet. Nothing sweet and fluffy like a bunny or a kitten. I got a Venus fly trap.
And his name is Colin.
I'm starting to realise why my parents never let me have a 'real' pet before as I managed to almost kill Colin within an hour of rescuing him from the garden centre. I re-potted him in some lovely compost in a nice big pot, gave him lots of tap water to drink, fed him some tasty Miracle-Grow and let him lovingly nibble on my fingers.
Ah, hang on. I wasn't supposed to do any of those things.
Being so eager to revive my poor Colin from being already near-death at the garden centre, I had actually forgotten to look up how to care for a Venus fly trap.
"Do not use compost. Avoid using tap water. Do NOT use fertiliser. NEVER close the heads artificially."
Oh dear. I had managed to make Colin a little bit more dead than he was before. Gone was my dream of a ravenous, Audrey II esque monster screaming "Feed me, Seymour!" and instead I was left with a rather limp looking dead plant.
|References, references everywhere.|
And like Jesus, Colin rose again.
Welcome back to the world of the living, Colin. And this time I promise I will take better care of you.
Now where did I leave that rainwater?
Any tips for me on how not to kill him again?