Life Update // Meet Colin.

Tuesday, 19 April 2016


Nah, he's actually fine, but I had to use some sort of clickbait to get you to read this post, considering ALL OF YOU BITCHES ON TWITTER* voted that you didn't want a post about Colin.

Well SUCKS TO BE YOU because Colin is here with a vengeance. Though tbh, I did nearly kill him within an hour of getting him home.

If you have been active on Twitter this past weekend, you will have noticed that I have acquired a pet. Nothing sweet and fluffy like a bunny or a kitten. I got a Venus fly trap.

And his name is Colin.

I'm starting to realise why my parents never let me have a 'real' pet before as I managed to almost kill Colin within an hour of rescuing him from the garden centre. I re-potted him in some lovely compost in a nice big pot, gave him lots of tap water to drink, fed him some tasty Miracle-Grow and let him lovingly nibble on my fingers.

Ah, hang on. I wasn't supposed to do any of those things.

Being so eager to revive my poor Colin from being already near-death at the garden centre, I had actually forgotten to look up how to care for a Venus fly trap.

"Do not use compost. Avoid using tap water. Do NOT use fertiliser. NEVER close the heads artificially."

Oh dear. I had managed to make Colin a little bit more dead than he was before. Gone was my dream of a ravenous, Audrey II esque monster screaming "Feed me, Seymour!" and instead I was left with a rather limp looking dead plant.

References, references everywhere.
Oh my poor, dead Colin. Oh how I weeped for him. (Well actually, I plonked him on the windowsill with an attitude of "He'll be reyt", but that's not as dramatic.)

And like Jesus, Colin rose again.

Welcome back to the world of the living, Colin. And this time I promise I will take better care of you.

Now where did I leave that rainwater?

Any tips for me on how not to kill him again?

*You're not really bitches. I still love you all.
8 comments on "Life Update // Meet Colin."
  1. Hahah I've killed every plant I've got always but luckily my fiancè turned out to be a green thumb so he can handle those.

    <3: Jasmin N |

    1. Luckily Sam seems to be pretty good with planta, so Colin may be in safe hands afterall! xx

  2. Haha this really made me laugh! Hope Colin survives, I'll be rooting for him! 😝

  3. HAHAH oh my god this totally made me laugh. When I saw you post a picture of him on instagram I was like, oooohhh I want my own Colin! Though I would 100% kill a plant. I ope Colin lives on! xx

    1. Poor poor Colin may actually be dead for real this time... oops xx

  4. Haha oh dear! I probably would have done the same to be honest! Glad Colin is doing okay!

    1. Update: I forgot to water him... xx


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