Drunk Diary #1

Friday, 22 April 2016
Edited in a little selfie from last night
Ay up...

So by writing this I'm probably ripping off the lovely Dorkface a little, but I'm supposed to have a post ready for tomorrow (today? Yes today.) And well, I don't. But now I do - read my DRUNK DIARY.

UPDATE: At 2am I puked in the sink, and my college receptionist sent me home at 11am for being hungover.

It's not like I'm even drunk. I don't get drunk because I'm a good girl and I don't like alcohol, however I've just been out for a lovely meal with my friend Emily and have had some go-go juice.

IN MY DEFENCE I asked for 'just one glass' of Woo Woo cocktail and she blimmin comes back with two huge 2 pint pitchers! Well I wasn't going to waste it, they're £5. And it just tasted like cranberry juice and was tasty and delicious so I just kept drinking. Naughty Alice. Naughty Emily.

I got home and I fell over trying to take my tights off. Simply cascaded into the wardrobe with one leg in a leg-thing (leg? one leg in a leg?) and the other in the air with my knee by my ear.

I'm not normally that flexible. Even I thought "blimey Alice. you could be a pro gymnast" but then I fell down and probably injured myself. I don't know.

I can vaguely remember sitting in the pub and Emily saying she thought she was a bit tipsy, to which my reply was "when you're seeing unicorns, you've gone" whilst singing the lalalalalala bit to 'Papagenu' (by that band with Jack Black) and making prancing gestures like a Unicron.

No Alice, not a unicron. I meant unicorn.

ANYWAY the point of this post is that tomorrow's (TODAY'S) post was supposed to be about my lovely new Spectrum makeup brushes, but tbh right now I probably wouldn't do a very good job of writing it considering that 'there's nothing like Australia' song is going round my head from that stupid advert.

So I'm probably not capable of writing a fitting review.

I feel like I need to pee so badly. Why do I need to pee? I just went. ALSO how the hell is my top picture so nicely edited? How have I managed this? I must drink more often.

Goodbye my darlings. And always remember - when you see the unicrons, you're gone.


5 comments on "Drunk Diary #1"
  1. When you tweeted saying that you hadn't written your post yet, it honestly cracked me up! I love these drunk diary posts, I actually kind of want to do one myself but god knows if I could even write a comprehensive sentence let alone blog post! Hope you had a good night xx


    1. Hehe! I literally had no idea what I'd written the next morning! xx

  2. Hahaha this is hilarious, Wetherspoons is a deadly, deadly place xxx


    1. Spoons really will be the death of me! xx

  3. This is absolutely hilarious! This should become a series, PLEASE! I love the gymnast part especially, and the fact that your receptionist sent you home from college. Just found you through a bloggers chat on twitter, and I'm impressed! I've followed you on twitter and bloglovin, looking forward to see more updates form you (hopefully drunk ones :P)



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