When I was 15, I had the most awesome emo phase. The bottom of my hair was bright pink one summer holiday, the next it was lilac and blue. All I ever wore was bright Truffle Shuffle t-shirts and black jeans. I had a long sweeping fringe and wore skeleton hand clips in my hair. I tagged every instagram selfie with #emo #scene #scenegirl #altgirl and I wore enough eyeliner to sink the Titanic on a daily basis.
I was so happy wearing whatever the hell I wanted and not caring what people thought. My Chemical Romance was my soundtrack to life and I had a HUGE poster of Paramore hanging in my bedroom, along with a giant Adventure Time one. My room was raspberry red and behind my bed was a huge collage of photos of myself and my best friend at the time. I was utterly and entirely my own person.
And now, at 18, I'm trying to rediscover that happy feeling.
|Age 15 - 16|
Last week I dyed my hair blue following the results of a Twitter poll I ran. Not the entirety of my hair, just dip-dye, the summer craze of 2012. And I loved it instantly. I felt a little bit more like myself again, the person I was before I turned 17 and deleted my old Facebook, got rid of my emo clothes and became obsessed with wearing the same thing as everyone else.
I haven't worn eyeliner under my eyes in over a year, but now I've started adding a delicate line to my bottom lashes when applying my morning makeup. My fringe has grown out and become unruly and fluffy, so I've taken to dowsing it with hairspray and teasing it up further to echo my days of backcombing.
I'm genuinely excited to start easing myself back into my old clothes again. When before I used to wear something totally different every day, now I seem to wear the same blue jeans and grey cardigan most days. My previous self would have fainted at the idea of me wearing anything Hollister. This doesn't mean I am getting rid of my pretty dresses, it just means I will be wearing whatever I feel like from now on, and not just the understated 'chic' clothes that everyone else does.
I'm a little bit worried about the effect this may have on my blog. Currently my blog and photos stick to a strict 'pale princess' theme, but I feel like I want to explore my true personality a little bit more through my posts. I don't think this will change my blog massively, just improve it a little (yay!)
My bedroom will still be bright pink, which I love, but I'm considering putting some posters up again. Over the last six months I have become increasingly obsessed with Melanie Martinez and would love some Crybaby-esque things to feature in my room.